Important. Please Read.

Yesterday I had my transplant appointment. I spent over an hour talking to the Hematologist (blood specialist) about the bone marrow transplant I will be receiving. I will continue having chemotherapy until December. When December comes they hope I will be able to have my transplant. My sisters have been tested as donors and I will find out if they are a match in about 4 weeks. If they aren't I will go on a international donor list where there is roughly 80% of finding a match. If this is the case the transplant itself may not happen till January. The stem cells will be harvested from my donor (my sister or international person) and within 24 hours will be transplanted into me. My body will then literally replace every single cell over the course of about 3 months. I will be in Wellington hospital for 3 months in isolation as my body is "reborn". This includes constant blood, platelets and feeding (i will lose the lining in my stomach and throat) transfusions. No visitors unless I nominate you specifically or you are family. I can't bring much into the room itself as it has to be new or sterilized completely. I am not exaggerating when I say if someone came in carrying old bacteria from a cold they had it is most likely I will die. This transplant is extremely risky but it is my last and only chance at getting better. Some of the risks involved:

Host rejection disease (they want this to occur but it is hard to control the severity. Too much and it kills me. Not enough and I won't get better.)
Infection (They told me almost all patients suffer an infection within the 3 months after the transplant. This can range from mild infection to lethal.)
Organ failure (My organs will be under huge amounts of stress and there is a chance they could fail from the intensity of the transplant and changes. I would not be eligible for a organ transplant either because I will be already too weak.)
There are lots of other factors involved but I can't be bothered/can't remember them right at the moment. The only one thing they do recommend is that I keep active, so I hired an exercyle for 2 months.

If you want stats I have a 50/50 chance of living or dieing. This is the broad stats used over everyone transplant but I do have some positives on my side:

• I am young so my body is a lot better at handling it than an older person.
• I am "chem0-sensitive" still. This means the cancer is responding to chemo.

Apart from this it is a gamble. I am faced with the possibility of not existing in 6 months time. I can't explain this feeling at all. You know when you hear the cliche "stop and smell the roses"? It is something I actually do and appreciate. Being able to feel the sun is........special and satisfying.

Please don't say thing like "stay positive" or "everything will be ok". It is out of anyones control and I will take it as it comes. You can't say it will be ok, you have nothing to back this up with. If you would like to help please I am asking if you could donate blood or platelets that would mean more to me than anything. Taking that one hour out of your entire existence to donate blood WILL literally save a life. One hour in your life is what I am asking. Is knowing that you saved a payment enough? Are you so busy you cannot spare one hour for another human beings existence? Do it. Please. Donate blood or platelets (platelets are the things that clot your blood. They stop you bleeding. Don't worry it is the same process as giving blood I believe) I will unlikely be the one to receive it but consider it payment to the other donors that I will receive from. Same goes to all you international readers of my blog too. Go to your donor branch or whatever, take that one hour out of your life to save someone elses.

If you would like to support me more materialistically (is that a word?) I would appreciate the following:

• Sweets (lollies etc.) I love these even more now I am on chemo. I prefer fruity ones as the flavour is a lot stronger. International readers this would be an ideal thing to send that I would really appreciate!
• Colin and Maggie. Is there any chance at all I could get one of your guitars for cheap? Possible to ship to New Zealand? I am not very musically inclined but I figure a guitar would be awesome in isolation in hospital. It would give me something to do and I would work my ass off to get your name out here in NZ.
• Vouchers for various electronic stores. I am going to maybe purchase a laptop for myself during isolation as a way to continue writing this blog and keep in touch with friends. Lets be honest here people, if its a shitty laptop don't bother. I want a grunty gaming one. Feel free to tell the whole "a friend of mine has cancer for the second time and is struggling story" as a way to get a free or heavily discounted laptop. I am more than happy to pay for some of it too. Actually, I RECOMMEND you do use the cancer card to try get things for cheaper. I deserve a bit of a deal don't I? Having cancer twice an' all.Seriously don't be ashamed, and if you have to I am happy to talk to them myself.
• Guitar Hero World tour big pack with the instruments. I have to keep active during isolation and this seems ideal.
  
• Any other do-dads or knick knacks that would cheer me up. The more homemade the better actually, it means a lot more.

You know what? Go mental and use the cancer card to get whatever free shit you can and send it to me. If I am possibly going to die what have you got to lose? Literally nothing. Always ask.

One final note. The stats mentioned are broad stats and every single case is different. For me as an individual they are "confident" that things should work. Personally I am confident too but things can change in an instant. I am not bitter at the moment at all as most of my teenage years have been experienced with cancer and other serious illnesses. My life is already beginning to change like I mentioned in my other blog entry. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself and be sad. I appreciate life. I just want to live. When/If you see me and seem happy it is because I am. I am happy to be alive, to be able to talk with people and do shit. From now on everything is out of my control and there is nothing I can do about it so worrying/sad is a waste of time and effort. One piece of advice I can offer to everyone is this:

If you are unhappy with aspects of your life change them. Don't theorize or talk about changing them. Just do it. You could die tomorrow and knowing you could've experienced more happiness when you had the chance is too much of an offer to pass up. Seriously do something about whatever is making you unhappy. Don't overthink anything, just move on. Life is too short to dwell on things. Who knows, it could be you that is hit by a car tomorrow or is told you only have months to live. What would you change? Change that NOW. Thinking about that new TV or bike you wanted? Go buy it now. Experience it all. Money is money its paper it means nothing.

That paragraph sounded very....... commercial :P

P.S. Quick notes:

50/50 chance of living or dieing
Transplant is aimed at being in late december. Will be in wellington following three months after that.
Extremely risky surgery and the after effects of transplant.
Start living. Today
Donate blood or platelets.

Send me packages (this really cheers me up) my address is:

Alex Kilpin
92 Rhodes Drive
Kelvin Grove
Palmerston North 4414
New Zealand

Thank you for reading this. Now begins the calm before the storm. My chemo effects are starting to take their toll on me and it will only get worse. However, I am not going to be miserable and lie around (much :P).